Dad we laid you to rest this past Friday and went through your belongings. The disbelief you are gone and the sadness wash over me all over again. Seems like just recently you left and yet how can almost two months have gone by already? Funny how time works doesn’t it?
So many feelings I struggle with wash over me; namely guilt of not being with you enough when I was younger. But I try to remind myself we both did the best we could with our situation. And every time we were together we had so much joy and fun.
I may not have had the privilege of having you around as the older kids did but I did get to spend one on one with you on weekends; for that I am grateful. We packed a lot of fun in those short times and boy do I cherish those memories. From ice cream dates, winning cookies at bingo or having camper cookies while enjoying the lakes. So maybe it is not the time we need to look at but the time we did share together; for those moments were full of laughter, fun and closeness.
I know one thing Dad I am so grateful for these past four years when we became really close and I got to spend so much time with you, this past year thankfully almost every day. As I sit here writing this, I have your sweater on and it feels like a warm hug from you. The tears may still be falling Dad but I am also finding more laughter each day when I think of you.
Thank you Dad and God Speed!
Kocham Cie (I love you)