Gift of Forgiveness

Each year for my birthday I try to do something for myself that will help me grow spiritually or more self assured.  One year I took an adult swimming class; thankfully I have always loved the water so I embraced the class and had a blast.  I have read books to enhance not only my knowledge but my spiritual side, became a CNA as I knew I wanted to be a healer, and started teaching myself piano.   But this year was different.

Yes it was time to let my past mistakes go; because by clutching onto them how could I possibly move forward with my life? How could I embrace the new ME that is emerging or how could I look forward to new possibilities?  I first wrote myself a forgiveness letter; thinking I had released it completely, but I was wrong.

About a week later I felt I needed to do a meditation, not sure what was going to come out of it but I knew it was going to be big.  As I went to my safe place, the ocean; I saw ME sitting there; the ME that I have not always been proud of.  She told me something very important; she told me it was time for her to go and it wasn’t fair to me to keep holding unto her because I was holding myself back.   We then clutched each other as tears rolled down our face and said our goodbyes.  As I watched her ascend up with my guides my new ME came in quite excited for this new adventure.

I will say I feel much freer and am excited for the new person I have become.  Will I make mistakes as only humans can do? Absolutely but I do know I will quit beating myself up, will look at the past as lessons well learned and have a ton more compassion for myself than before.  Because if I cannot give myself compassion how will I possibly give it to others? Yes this is the new ME and I thank God every day for helping me to get to this place.  I am so blessed to have him change my life the way he has and I am so grateful I can finally be truly ready for this new adventure.